I get one single question from a lot of my unmarried friends – ‘Is it really Happily Ever After’ or ‘Will I get my Happily Ever After?‘ or some other version of this. And my answer is always the same – ALWAYS – NO! Now, before you tag me off as a pessimist or a person stuck in a relationship rut or plain cynical or whatever, let me tell you, I am not. I am in a very loving and deep relationship with my husband and we share a beautiful love made stronger by marriage and our child. But is it really Happily Ever After? I don’t know.
You see, my main problem is with the entire notion or societal notion that feeds us this crap that marriage makes everything better or it makes you happy. Well, society, sorry to burst your bubble – but it doesn’t make you happy. Yes, a loving caring and healthy relationship will lead to happiness, but feeling the happiness, strengthening the relationship and being in the loving and caring relationship and keeping it healthy is a CHOICE. It is an action, you have to do, every single day. You have to consciously make the choice to be with this person, through the good and the bad, and this happiness that comes from being together through such times is what makes most people happy. So, essentially, it is your own choice that will make you happy – not marriage, but the choice of staying married to this person , who again, you chose!
Another thing, is this bullshit about EVER AFTER! Really, in a world, where everything is ‘Made in China‘ and collapses faster than you could say ‘Icecream in the sun’, expecting marriage to keep you happy ever after is quite far fetched. I mean, what are the chances that people are happy ALL THE TIME? Zero! Nil! Yada! I mean, come on, is anyone on earth really happy all the bloody time? (Imagine how irritating such a person would be) But ever after is a myth. Because it never starts and never ends. Every marriage goes through it’s shares of ups and downs. There will be times, when him refusing to wake up to soothe the baby at night will drive you nuts and when she will want to get emotional about her second cousin’s best friend’s sister’s divorce will make you want to scream your head out. But you will realise that it doesn’t matter – in the long run, it will not matter. And you choose to overlook the same. Yes, people, it is this choice that I speak about – this choice that will lead to much better happiness in your life.
Nothing beats having a stable and sane companion in this journey of life. Nothing comes close to sleeping with your best friend after a terrible day at work. But expecting it to be the same way every single day and expecting all your miseries and debts to disappear, just coz you are married is frankly, quite ridiculous!
So frankly there is only one answer to the above question – will it be ‘Happily Ever After‘ and the answer is – if you choose it to be!
So long, my love and life beckons!